Selfish behavior is fear manifested.
Fear that if I don’t control this situation (or this person), then I won’t get my way.
As one of satan’s favorite tools — fear is a spirit of the enemy.
Scared is where you give up your self-control.
Where the irrational behaviors and unfounded justifications of a selfish person grow.
Where destruction can thrive unchecked inside a broken spirit.
But, our Creator did not intend for us to operate from a selfish or fearful place.
“for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.”
2 Timothy 1:7 ESV
While fear and selfishness are projected outward.
The spirit that is power, love and self-control is focused inward.
You only control you.
Your abundant spirit will influence through example and action alone.
I have yet to pray through a situation in my life in which God came back to me with overwhelming support for how it was the other person’s fault.
When I pray for others, He changes me.
It’s a selfish endeavor to try and make someone unselfish.
You struggle with them because they won’t consider you.
They don’t see your point of view.
They don’t include you in their decision.
And you feel disregarded, unseen, and ignored.
Maybe you are.
Perhaps you resent them for it.
Justifiably so…if you ask yourself.
Their ideas stem from their-centered view of the world.
So you counter it by making a case for them to see it your way — from your center.
Do you see how ineffective this is going to be?
You won’t change them.
You can want them to be more considerate of you.
You can want them to consider another point of view.
You can want them to see you and include you.
But they won’t.
Not unless they want to.
Not unless they choose to.
This is why we work on us.
This is why your mind, your body, and your spirit are so important.
We do not shape the world beyond how we shape ourselves.
You do the work to be the best version of you possible.
You do the work to be the person that God has called you to be.
But do not be disappointed when your work does not yield the results in others that you were hoping for.
Hoping that your work will change another is not only fruitless and frustrating — it’s selfish.
Your action is always perpetuating a selfish situation and creating a power struggle — or it’s setting a boundary and creating space for a new dance — a different cycle.
So, dance — don’t struggle.
When egos struggle we all lose, but dancing is another thing altogether.
It’s something we do together.
It’s unselfish because it’s both leading and following.
Dancing is giving the other person space to move while recognizing where they are.
It’s back and forth, considerate and strong.
Done well — both parties thrive.
Done wrong — both parties fall.
And throughout the entire dance the only thing that either person controls is the step they take next.
Dancing is a problem analogy for me, because I’m awful at it.
I’m awful at metaphorically dancing with the egos around me, especially my own — and I’m awful at actually dancing.
But regardless of my skills, the analogy works.
The problem is universally true because it takes practice and we suck at first.
It’s hard — you know, like life is.
It takes faith — you know, like life does.
It takes fortitude to carry on in spite of yourself.
So, next time you find yourself dancing with a selfish person I suggest you watch your own feet.
With Faith + Fortitude
Linc
To end this week I want to give you something to center yourself on.
Everything we experience in life can give us justification for or against our faith in God.
“A just God wouldn’t do this,” or “a good God has a greater plan that we don’t understand yet.”
We overcomplicate it when we try and determine some greater justification for every happening in our lives. So I choose to simplify it and center myself on the fact that the only point of all this life is faith itself.
Live a life that chooses to see, and develop, and share your faith.
Because the only thing you can bring to heaven is other people.
Choose faith, and keep it — then share it with the ones you love.
Keep walking.
God Bless.
Linc